I just read, my eyes filled with incredulity, the ignorance spewed by the Denver Post’s Woody Paige on April 12, 2001 in an article (sic) titled “Canada Can’t Cancel The Avs This Postseason”. As a Canadian, I found its content to be virulently offensive. It is also exemplary of everything that’s wrong with the attitude of some Americans (and unlike Mr. Paige I will resist the temptation to generalize by saying ALL Americans) toward the world that lies outside their borders.

Here is my response to Mr. Paige’s article:

Dear Woody;

It would behoove you to know, sir, that the nation upon which you urinated in your rambling and pointless column of April 12, 2001 is in fact the birthplace of the game of hockey which you Coloradans have so recently learned to worship. You see, the “National” in National Hockey League stands for Canada. And long before American money plucked a financially-strapped but talented young team from Quebec City minutes before their Stanley Cup Victory, a rich tradition of sportsmanship and grace began in the New World, in Canada.

You can be forgiven for your seeming inability to display such sportsmanship, since obviously the sport of hockey and its heritage are all new to you. I assume that adding another sport to your career-long diet of Football, Baseball, and Professional Wrestling has not afforded you the opportunity to perform in-depth analysis and research as to this seemingly new-fangled sport’s traditions.

Anyway, on to my lesson. Lord Stanley, sent to Canada in the 1880s by the Queen of England (can you name which one?) as Canada’s Governor General, repeataedly observed groups of teenage boys playing a strange sport called “hockey” along Ottawa’s frozen Rideau Canal. The word comes from the French word “hocquet” which means “bent stick” — Canada has always embraced both French and English cultures equally.

A few months later, he purchased a tin cup for 10 guineas on London’s Carnaby Street. He wanted to create a tournament and national championship with the aim of unifying a nation that was then fractured by distance and dissimilar interests. The tournament was first held in Canada in 1893 and was won, ironically, by the Montreal Amateur Athletic Association — the seeds of what would eventually become “Les Habitants”, or the Montreal Canadiens.

In 1917, after World War I, the amateur teams of Canada merged to create the “original five” teams of the National Hockey League — the Montreal Canadiens, the Montreal Wanderers, the Ottawa Senators, the Quebec Bulldogs, and the Toronto Arenas — flying under the banner of the Stanley Cup. The cup, though property of the NHL, was up for grabs by the top teams of other leagues, like the PCL.

Even in those days, Canadian teams competed for players with the deep pockets of American investors. As Amateur Athletics began to congeal around this new championship race, companies around the Eastern US began sponsoring their own teams in a loosely assembled corporate hockey league. Robber barons and other industrialists came to bet thousands of dollars on the outcome of games, and things started heating up.

Whether it was for corporate pride, personal ego, or monetary gain these teams made up of each company’s “employees” began importing seasoned, skilled Canadian hockey players to the US for exhorbitant amounts of money to secure victory. In a few short decades since its inception, Canada had become a hockey factory of sorts, turning out prodigies like Cyclone Taylor, Joe Malone, Cy Denneny, and others.

Eventually, the many teams and leagues folded under the economic pressure by growing salaries and the league converged around a mixture of Canadian and American teams from six cities, spawning the misnomer “original six”.

It was simple economics that drew many of these talents South of the border, beginning an oft-repeated tradition in hockey, which continues today. These days, Canada produces greater than 60% of the players in the NHL — an impressive feat for a country with fewer than 28 million people. Of the five Avalanche Superstars you mention in your article — Ray Bourque, Rob Blake, Joe Sakic, Peter Forsberg and Patrick Roy — all but one are Canadian.

Your revered (until he loses a few games) Avs coach, Bob Hartley, is Canadian. Marc Crawford, your former coach and present adversary, is also Canadian. In fact, reviewing the Stanley Cup victors of the last five years, each winning team has greatly exceeded the statistical average percentage of Canadians in the league on a per team basis. Clearly this is a winning formula and clearly American sports entrepeneurs have taken notice.

With enterprise and American money, the league has multiplied to cover such unlikely locales for ice hockey as Tampa Bay, San Jose, and Colorado. Through it all, the National Hockey League has retained its original traditions — as each team advances to the next round of the playoffs, for example, they go with the handshakes and blessings of those whom they defeated. These subtle gestures of sportsmanship harken back to the league’s amateur origins.

But what is it that makes Canadian players and the Canadian game so successful? Perhaps it is the hard work, dedication, and fortitude of the players coming out of our system. Perhaps it is education programmes, corporate funding, or community support that makes it possible. In all cases, though, these support systems pale by comparison to the influence of a strong and ingrained tradition of athletic excellence and sportsmanship.

Last night I watched with amazement as Barry Bonds became the 17th player to hit 500 home runs during his career — an impressive, but clearly not exceptional feat. The entire game ceased for 20 minutes to accomodate a special ceremony and photo op that had obviously been planned and rehearsed with every detail.

By contrast, when Wayne Gretzky (a Canadian) leafed his 802nd goal past a stunned netminder to surpass Gordie Howe’s career scoring record — a record which will likely stand forever at 894 — he simply raised a hand in modest celebration before the ovations of the crowd, returned to the players’ bench, and awaited his next shift.

Perhaps in this dichotomy you will see that our Canadian tradition of subtlety, humility, and above all respect (for the game, its players, and for its fans) embody the word “sportsmanship”. You will see that the game of hockey retains many such traditions that have been lost in other sports, to their detriment. You will see that, win or lose, all participants can stand proud and be counted among the elite few priviledged to play the world’s fastest sport.

You would do well to pay homage to this tradition rather than treading all over it with your shoddilly-written article (satire or not). As outright ignorance and lack of respect such as yours seeps into the game along with your money, you jeopardize the dignity and sanctity of the very sport itself. You can be forgiven, as an obvious newcomer, for not understanding — but you cannot for the tone in which you express your sentiments.

Today, as throughout the league’s history, a victory for any NHL team remains a victory for all Canadians. It is our game, our tradition, our players, and our National symbol. To date, the contributions Americans have made to the game are limited to your money, and the hackneyed opinions of a few small town columnists with a penchant for revisionist history.

Thanks anyway,

-Ian.

Anyway, what’s afoot right now is a major hellstorm of flame email targeted at this moron. He made a big mistake when he took a piss on Canada. His email is WoodyPaige [at] aol [dot] com . Make it hurt. Pass it on.

-Ian.

—- http://www.denverpost.com/Stories/0,1002,111%7E20077,00.html

By Woody Paige Denver Post Sports Columnist

Thursday, April 12, 2001 – Woe is Canada.

I feel sorry for Canadians.

“Canada is a country where nothing ever seems to happen,” wrote author Carol Shields. “A country you wouldn’t ask to dance a second waltz.” A country that rarely has a team in the second waltz of the playoffs.

Other than arguing over which language to speak, hockey is the national pastime.

Yet, a Canadian hockey team hasn’t won an NHL championship since all the people spoke Iroquoisese, eh?

And that streak won’t end this year.

Three of the four Canadian clubs in the playoffs will be eliminated in the first round, and the only reason there won’t be a four-gone conclusion is that Toronto is playing Ottawa. One must advance – and will be dumped in the second round.

Take the Vancouver Caknuckleheads. Please. They open the postseason tonight at The Can against the Colorado Avalanche.

Vancouver’s Marc Crawford, who used to coach a talented team, is reduced to rolling out goons, buffoons and Princess Dyes. Three Vancouver forwards – and the all-important assistant equipment manager – have dyed their hair blond before the first game. The Avs must be scared out of their sweaters. The Caknuckleheads are going to try to dazzle ’em with their ‘dos.

Given the brute style of hockey the Caknuckleheads prefer to play, Avalanche coach Bob Hartley would be wise not to to risk injury by scratching Ray Bourque, Rob Blake, Joe Sakic, Peter Forsberg and Patrick Roy (none of whom has gotten a roots tint) and let the Hershey Bears win four in a row.

The Caknuckleheads, making a playoff appearance for the first time in five seasons, are missing Markus Naslund and Andrew Cassels and don’t know whether to start Bob Essena or Dan Cloutier in goal. Doesn’t matter. The Avs won’t take pity on either. The only edge Vancouver has is that Crawford’s hair is more stylish than Hartley’s. The Avalanche management doesn’t even have to short-sheet Crow’s bench. The only exciting matchup in the series is Crawford vs. Pierre Lacroix.

Can’t we get this over with and get on with a good United States opponent?

North Dakota calls itself “The Peace Garden State” because there is a peace garden (which reportedly blooms one weekend in July) on the border with Canada, as if we have to worry about peace with our northern neighbors, who still bow to a queen who lives on a distant island. Canada may be the world’s second-largest country in land mass, but a U.S. invasion and takeover would be finished by brunch.

Like this series – which will be over after three games and six minutes into the fourth.

Once again, by the conference finals, Canadians will be innocent bystanders, cheering only for Don Cherry’s outfits and outbursts.

The NHL is too wound up about expanding the playoffs when, instead, the league should be aiding and abetting Canada.

If it weren’t for Canada, where would so many of us have hidden out during the Vietnam War?

There should be realignment to give the Canadians, including the Canadiens (and their new Colorado owner), hope in the postseason.

Canada should an occasional prospect for reclaiming the Stanley Container.

As always, I’m here with a solution.

Divide the league into four conferences – North, South, Midwest/West and Canada.

North: Buffalo, Boston, New York Islanders, New York Rangers, New Jersey Devils, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh and Detroit.

South: Washington, Carolina, Nashville, St. Louis, Dallas, Atlanta, Tampa Bay and Florida.

Midwest/West: Minnesota, Chicago, Colorado, Phoenix, San Jose, Los Angeles, Anaheim and Columbus.

Canada: Toronto, Montreal, Ottawa, Vancouver, Edmonton and Calgary.

The top four teams from each conference – a total of 16, same as now – would move onto the playoffs, with Nos. 1 and 4 and 2 and 3 meeting in the opening round.

For instance, the conference champion, Colorado, would play Phoenix, and San Jose would play Los Angeles.

After two intraconference series, the winners would reach the conference finals.

What’s different? Canada annually would be guaranteed of sending four teams to the playoffs and would be assured of having one in the conference finals, with a 50 percent chance of being represented in the Stanley Cup Finals. As an example, this year it could have been the Avalanche from the Midwest/West, Dallas from the South, Detroit from the North and Ottawa from the Canada conferences.

Canada would alternate in the conference finals against the other three.

There.

Otherwise, Canadians are forced to watch ice fishing and curling in May and June.